taiwanluthiers Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I'm depressed today. I don't know what it is, but lately I'm having so much trouble with people. At work nobody wants to be my friends, in fact a few coworker seems to ignore me intentionally. In fact ever since I have been back in the states I got exactly 0 friends. I have at least 10 guys claiming that they are my friend, just right before they stop answering my emails/texts/whatever. It's like they're afraid of me or something. I'm sick of people telling me that they are my friend.
nater Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Try looking for local groups or clubs with common interests. You build guitars, maybe your local music shop has jam session nights. We have an interesting, but rare group where I work. We work close and for long shifts sharing experiences that nobody else could understand, even spouses. Some of us do hangout outside of work; but typically work is work and separate from family / friends. It must also be tough being a foreigner back in the US. Some parts of our country and certain subcultures are very unfriendly to anyone who isn't a conservative white male. Try to hang in there doing your job to the best of your ability while avoiding the "office" drama. Maybe they will start to warm up to you.
mikeee Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Some work places are that way, the new person takes a lot of grief until another person is hired and the "hazing" continues with the new hire. Most people in the work place usually are interested in talking sports or gossiping about other people in the work place. Most people these days can not discuss religion, politics, or social issues without getting emotional. The work place is also becoming a very competitive environment with the current economic conditions and stagnant wages for the majority of the work force. The work place has changed over the decades, getting involved with co-workers is a double edged sword. Most work places try to avoid these situations to avoid bad blood when things take a turn. Look outside the work place and network with people that have similar hobbies and interests.
taiwanluthiers Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I'm not sure this is workplace hazing. They really aren't purposely doing anything bad to me but everywhere, work or not is the same. I would try to introduce myself and people would act all friendly, but pretty soon people start ignoring me or not interacting a whole lot with me. I'm not interested in sports or gossip so I'm not sure what else to talk about except for religion, politics, or social issues.
mikeee Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Taiwan, That is the current state of the social environment in the USA most people live out their fantasies in their favorite sports team and avoid all topics of discussion having any substance. Most people these days stick their heads in the sand and avoid all discussion of our social issues which the average person has little ability to influence. Talk about religion and you will offend someone without knowing it, even though most religions have their share of skeletons in the closet. Talk about politics and the other political party is always responsible for the problems we face, you will also offend someone without knowing it. Talk about healthcare and most people will politicize the issue, even though our health care system is actually ranked 49th in the world.
taiwanluthiers Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 As if things are any different in Taiwan... there people just work, work, and more work. At least most Americans actually have hobbies. I do like talking about social issue (not really politics) because I think that is what makes us American. I'm not sure where else I can go to find friends, and I'm not into superficial chit chats or what some celebrity had for breakfast. Seems society is full of people waiting to be offended in some way.
taiwanluthiers Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I thought about it, but paying 20 dollars for a 2 minute lap dance isn't going to make me happy. I'm not looking for cheap thrills, but real friendship. I'm not even sure it's possible anymore.
calebkessinger Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 lol. Maybe just start smiling and saying hello to people you meet. Just cause they are female doesn't mean they wont talk to you. Most people are just looking for a change to their normal monotonous life. Say hello, strike up a conversation with a complete stranger like you would an old friend.. You would be amazed who will help you at the store or just converse with you. and if they turn their nose up at you, so what , you weren't gonna talk to them anyway !!! For some of us it is WORK to be social but the results are the same for everyone whether you are good at it or not. We are just PEOPLE. creatures that crave attention in all different ways. You will be astonished at all the nice people you find when you change YOUR attitude. oh, asking for help is usually a good way to get someone to communicate with you. People like to be helpful. No I'm not an expert on people.. heck, i might be fine without very many others around but, I sure enjoy all the people I meet and it makes my life better, so why not try harder and meet more great people. 1
oldspark Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 Well friends are overrated and people suck! Having said that when I was younger I had "friends" but I think it was just people I partied with and as you age that goes away (in most cases).So what do you expect from a friend, some times it's people who you barely know who help the most and never become your friends.
ddewees Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 I bought a woman's groceries last week, and bought a guys gas tonight. They seemed happy... I know I was. Kill em with kindness 1
taiwanluthiers Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 For me asking for help is the quickest way to lose friends...
gregh Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Please remember my family in your thoughts and prayers. My wife's father lost his battle with cancer yesterday. We were an extremely close family and it really sucks. My true agony is seeing the pain and suffering my six young children are going through right now. I wish I could take away their pain. Sometimes life really sucks.
taiwanluthiers Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Let's talk coping strategy.... I wish I could go out into the country and shoot some tannerite... that should cure some depression.
rogeryermaw Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 i feel ya greg. sorry you and your family are having to deal with this loss. please offer your wife my condolences for her father. the kids are going to take it hard, but kids are resilient and they'll be ok soon. how about you? are you holding up ok? having to be the support hub for your family leaves little time to sort out your own feelings. pm me if you want to unload.
oldspark Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 "Time heals all wounds", getting through the "time" is not easy but one day at a time and before you know it things hurt less.
mikeee Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 I try to stay so busy that I don't have time to get depressed. That was the only thing that kept me sane while going through rough times in my life. Sitting around contemplating why bad things happen just make it worse. I have several hobbies which always consume my spare time along with working a full time job. If you stay busy everything else usually falls into place. 1
Shunt Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 I try to stay so busy that I don't have time to get depressed.That was the only thing that kept me sane while going through rough times in my life.Sitting around contemplating why bad things happen just make it worse.I have several hobbies which always consume my spare time along with working a full time job.If you stay busy everything else usually falls into place.+1 mikeee My high school PE teacher said the same thing in different words. Just get up early and DO he said. We asked questions. He made us run laps around the track field for an hour in the hot days of summer and after we were done asked if anyone had more questions. Not a word was spoken from the students in the class.
BurritoBandito Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 (edited) Damn Greg, I'm very sorry to hear that. I know that life can be a bitch sometimes, but there is little we can do about it. I'm sure watching your kids suffer is excruciating. As Roger stated, kids are tough as nails. A little less than two years ago my sister was involved in a car accident. She also had six kids, 5 boys and 1 girl. Her and my nephews watched helplessly as my niece died. She was only 13 years old. My nephews ranged in age from 1 to 16 at the time. My 8 year old nephew, Brendon, had both of his femurs shattered. My oldest nephew, Isaiah, had the slider rail that the back seat sits on impale his right foot. My sister and her husband were both concussed, and knocked unconscious. When my sister came to she awoke to the sight of Brendon with his legs trapped between the back and middle seats, vomiting, and her daughter was blue. My brother in law got out of the car to try and cut Monika's seat belt so that she would be able to breathe again, but as soon as he stood up he hit the pavement and began having a seizure. Little did he, or anyone else know that the impact had severed her spinal column from her brain. My family watched my niece on life support for 10 days. There was no hope for saving her, but the goal was to keep her organs alive long enough to find recipients. The whole experience was very traumatizing for everyone involved, but in spite of the gruesome images my nephews were exposed to, they are all well now. I will not deny that there is a whole in our hearts which will never be filled, but for the most part my nephews live happy lives. I was amazed to see how strong they are, and it is inspiring to know that someone can go through everything that they did, and return to a normal life. Children are strong, and yours will recover. In the mean time, all you can do is to be there for them. I know it's difficult to be the support pillar that holds your family up in times like this, but you can do it, and I have faith that you and your children will bounce back from this. In fact, there is a strong possibility that it will bring your family closer. I know the loss of my niece did. I'm here for you if you need to talk. Edited May 30, 2015 by BurritoBandito
rogeryermaw Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 petty as it seems, and i truly love independence day like most kids love christmas, it is a source of occasional depression...i assume for many of us. a quick look through my supplies tells me i'm nowhere close to my fourth goal. dammit i like my copper(1)chloride blues but the main pyro suppliers are out. there is never enough time to finish all the comps i want. so many shells and so little time...even with mechanical assistance...there isn't even enough time for stars to dry!!!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!
taiwanluthiers Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I'd be happy to be able to buy fireworks at all. However it seems Austin only allows those crappy safe and sane stuff.
ddewees Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 http://www.sldinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bigstock-Half-Empty-Or-Half-Full-Glass-22257551.jpg
BurritoBandito Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 That glass looks tapered, so I'd say it's less than half full. 1
calebkessinger Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Looks like if I dump that water out it would be a good thing to put a long island iced tea in.
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