Occasional depression thread

[Richtee]

And now the local rag...

Oakland Press

 

First off... I was not even home... I came home to the police there. I had not even tested anything in days. Since I live in a suburban farm area, it IS legal to discharge firearms. And I do hear shots on ocassion. What a load of BS.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Richtee

[Brakkie]

" This is the worst job of reporting I have read. No facts, a lot of maybe's.... don't waste time with story's that have no information tied to them. "

 

That's pretty much exactly what I was gonna say...

[Richtee]

" This is the worst job of reporting I have read. No facts, a lot of maybe's.... don't waste time with story's that have no information tied to them. "

 

That's pretty much exactly what I was gonna say...

I wonder if I should reply? There were no complaints that I know of..and SURELY not that day- I was not home. There is gunfire in my area..it's zoned "suburban farm" and firearems can be discharged here for hunting ot target purposes. Maybe some one was shooting..I have no idea. I was 40 miles away.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Richtee

[marks265]

Well here we go. It is now my turn to lose my job, we were told 4/17/09 will be our last day. May end up cashing in the weak 401K 'cause it always loses it's ass to support the filthy rich anyway. And then you know; do a little pyro and of course some quality fishing time. Maybe I'll laminate some chip board to make 7-1/2" end discs and watch the glue dry! I wonder how many cases of beer the wife will buy before I have to get another job? I guess there is only one way to find out huh . Good thing we have material stocked for the tough times! It could be a real Bl******st!

Don't worry I vow to hold my beer high, keep the mill runnin', and bring a fish home once in awhile!

[TheSidewinder]

I wonder if I should reply? There were no complaints that I know of..and SURELY not that day- I was not home. There is gunfire in my area..it's zoned "suburban farm" and firearems can be discharged here for hunting ot target purposes. Maybe some one was shooting..I have no idea. I was 40 miles away.

 

 

If I were you, I wouldn't poke the bear.....

 

But I agree, what a bullshit "news" article. News? What news? A lot of insinuation and innuendo by someone trying to manufacture news.

[psyco_1322]

Damn that sucks, Richtee. I'm just glad everything went down quite smoothly for you. If all they took was a few 3" shells and some QM that's good news right there. No tickets or fines, great! Overall it sounds like you're coming out smelling like a well nitrated flower bed

 

I think that news article is just fine. It doesn't go into all that media BS that labels you as a terrorist making tons of high explosives and blowing creators in your back yard. The less heat the media puts on it, the better it will come out in the end.

 

Good luck man. Best of luck to you. Hope to see you come back some time, maybe get back in the game in a few years or so.

 

Maybe some one could post all this info in the announcements so everyone can see it. I hardly every come down to this section and would have never seen this if it wasn't for Mumble's link in the chemistry section. I'm sure there are others that don't read in the Random Discussion area as well.

[Swede]

I'm sure there are others that don't read in the Random Discussion area as well.

 

I think the Random section is one of my favorites on APC! I've picked up a lot of good tidbits, and also learned more about the regulars here; made some friends along the way.

 

I agree with what you said about R's situation. It's time like this that I wish Bill Gates was into Pyro. You'd have an instant legal challenge based upon 4th amendment grounds, or the simple fact that the BATFE does not prohibit fireworks for personal use, so long as storage is not an issue. Make 'em, launch the same day, etc. Local and State varies, of course.

 

I guess Richtee said someone found the door open, and the po-po decided there was some "imminent danger" thing going on - maybe a burglar. But once inside, they technically are not allowed to be opening drawers or conducting a full-blown search without a warrant. I guess the lesson to take away from this is to partake of your hobby in a secure, lockable area, and be very careful with neighbors and such.

 

But to get 50 lawyers at $300 per hour working for the rights of innocent pyrotechnic experimenters nation-wide... Man, I'd love to see it.

 

Richtee, it'll blow over. Good luck, Amigo.

[Seymour]

Well here we go. It is now my turn to lose my job, we were told 4/17/09 will be our last day. May end up cashing in the weak 401K 'cause it always loses it's ass to support the filthy rich anyway. And then you know; do a little pyro and of course some quality fishing time. Maybe I'll laminate some chip board to make 7-1/2" end discs and watch the glue dry! I wonder how many cases of beer the wife will buy before I have to get another job? I guess there is only one way to find out huh tongue2.gif . Good thing we have material stocked for the tough times! It could be a real Bl******st!

Don't worry I vow to hold my beer high, keep the mill runnin', and bring a fish home once in awhile!

 

I'm sure work got in the way of pyro anyways!

 

I hope all goes well for ya.

[FrankRizzo]

I guess Richtee said someone found the door open, and the po-po decided there was some "imminent danger" thing going on - maybe a burglar. But once inside, they technically are not allowed to be opening drawers or conducting a full-blown search without a warrant. I guess the lesson to take away from this is to partake of your hobby in a secure, lockable area, and be very careful with neighbors and such.

 

You make a *GREAT* point there, Swede. What business did the police have executing a full-blown search without a warrant?! Or, if they did obtain a warrant, on what grounds was it granted? Since when is it illegal to leave your front door open either? I mean, it's a dumb idea, but damn, if I want to leave my front door open when I'm not home..that's my prerogative.

 

Richtee, were the shells sitting out in plain sight?

[FrKoNaLeaSh1010]

Occaisional depression thread.....well for me i am always in a depressed mood so i figured i would post since its been a while. I just found out today that my mom is kicking me out of the house. I have until june 1st to find my own and be able to support myself and at the moment have no job because i have applied to every place i could think of and i got only two call backs for interviews and after the interviews i still didnt get the job. I am starting to think there must be something wrong with me if i apply at about 20-25 different places and no one wants me to work for them. The stress of trying to find out how i am gonna support myself and not be homeless is making me think of wrapping MHN det cord around my neck putting a Dsalt cap with electric ignition and push the button and blow my head off my body. I know this seems a little crazy but i am just bugging out about the stress. I am gonna end up working at mcdonalds and burgerking for minimum wage just to afford an apartment and food and will never have enough money to do anything else thats actually fun or just anything. I dont want to work my ass off at minimum wage just to be miserable the rest of my life. thanks for letting me rant

[Richtee]

You make a *GREAT* point there, Swede. What business did the police have executing a full-blown search without a warrant?! Or, if they did obtain a warrant, on what grounds was it granted? Since when is it illegal to leave your front door open either? I mean, it's a dumb idea, but damn, if I want to leave my front door open when I'm not home..that's my prerogative.

 

Richtee, were the shells sitting out in plain sight?

In my office, in the basement, as far from the front door as it's possible to get in my home. On a shelf about 6 feet from my ass right now. And as soon as that was seen..the Patriot act was invoked. They pulled my daughter out of class and questioned her with no parental consent. ALL rights are forfiet when they play that card.

 

Oh the search is called "due Dilligence" They got a call about it and are able to "secure the premise". Sigh.

Edited April 4, 2009 by Richtee

[flying fish]

If I saw the police asking for me in class, I'd be terrified that they were coming to tell me some awefull news. "we're sorry to tell you this, but your family was killed when they hit a patch of ice and slid head-on into a salt truck, and then the fireworks in the back seat exploded."

 

Rich, I'll get back to you tomorrow, I'm too tired to think right now. Sorry about that...

[WarezWally]

If I saw the coppers coming for me in class I would be out the windows quick smart

[Swede]

Occaisional depression thread.....well for me i am always in a depressed mood so i figured i would post since its been a while. I just found out today that my mom is kicking me out of the house. I have until june 1st to find my own and be able to support myself and at the moment have no job because i have applied to every place i could think of and i got only two call backs for interviews and after the interviews i still didnt get the job. I am starting to think there must be something wrong with me if i apply at about 20-25 different places and no one wants me to work for them. The stress of trying to find out how i am gonna support myself and not be homeless is making me think of wrapping MHN det cord around my neck putting a Dsalt cap with electric ignition and push the button and blow my head off my body. I know this seems a little crazy but i am just bugging out about the stress. I am gonna end up working at mcdonalds and burgerking for minimum wage just to afford an apartment and food and will never have enough money to do anything else thats actually fun or just anything. I dont want to work my ass off at minimum wage just to be miserable the rest of my life. thanks for letting me rant

 

FrK, I am going to suggest something that you might laugh at, but have you considered the military? Doesn't have to be the Army (unless you want it). The Navy, and Air Force are hiring right now! The military taught me everything I know, and landed me a cush job post-military. They have excellent programs to provide money for college. And the friends you will make - that is the best part. You will make buds that you'll treasure the rest of your life. Consider it.

 

Hang in there in the mean-time. Life is a sine wave, full of ups and downs. You're stuck in a trough right now, but it'll improve. Best of luck.

[WarezWally]

Decided to go go-karting with a bunch of mates, had a few drinks before hand and had a wicked time. Got pretty smashed up hitting the tyre walls and the odd person who spun out in front of me, all was good, the karts don't really go that fast (20km/h tops) and they have been designed with crashing in mind.

 

Fast forward to this morning

 

Everything hurts, looks like I have a broken finger and my lower body is a giant bruise from being slammed into the polycarbonate bucket seat, neck doesn't feel good from all the whiplash and I have seat belt rash

 

I think my mate who I T boned might have a few broken ribs I guess in a months time once I recover I'll be making another similar post

[FrankRizzo]

LOL..sounds like you had fun, Wally. You may want to cut back on the drinking though, it seems to get you in trouble.

[WarezWally]

You are only young once, only trouble I have been in was getting that ticket I should have known better.

 

Chances are everybody will have a significant other along with the associated baggage pulling the strings in the near future, I imagine most of us will move on with our lives anyway.

[andyboy]

Got my ass fired today, should probably be depressed but I can't muster the feeling since:

 

[West side story]

I feel pretty,

Oh, so pretty,

I feel pretty and witty and bright!

And I pity

Any boy who isn't me tonight.

[/West side story]

 

I relly, really hated that workplace and I wouldn't have worked there after July anyway. Now I just have to get of my ass and get a new job, how hard can it be? There is a global crisis, people are laid of right to left and my bills where higher then my salary even before getting fired, but strangely enough I have faith (let's see how long that lasts) that it will work out in the end.

 

@ Frk: Even minimum wage jobs will give you something, you will have an employment and that helps when you apply for a new job, sure the jobs suck but almost all jobs suck. It's not like someone will come by and ask if you want a job oiling up the hawaiian tropic girls, or maybe that is just what will happen, like Swede said it goes down before it goes up, and sometimes a thing that seems like a down could actually be what makes it go up...

 

Rambling aside, hope it works out for you, good luck.

[FrKoNaLeaSh1010]

Yes I have strongly considered joining the military so i dont think it is a stupid idea at all. If anything i would join the army wait my two years and apply for EOD. The downsides that make me not want to are the long periods of being on leave and active duty where there is nothing but army life. I want to actually experience life not just live/work do everything with the military in foreign place....you need to be 100% committed to the army lifestyle which is not something I am so sure I want to do. Also I am rather lazy in the physical athletic part which makes me highly doubt I would even pass basic training. I was over the weight limit at one point and I dropped about 25 pounds when I was planning on enlisting but once I made the weight I kind of lost interest in wanting the military lifestyle. I am not worried about going to war or anything I dont have any specific fear of war (although i wouldnt know until I've been in armed combat). Also I love shooting and blowing stuff up even though that is just a small part of what you actually do. I see what your saying about the low paying job is better than nothing because it is a reference for a better job. Also as sad and pathetic as it sounds I was looking into state/federal aid like medicaid and perhaps something to help with the rent if a small minimum wage job wont cut it. I am starting to think I would rather try and fail then just give up before I hit the bottom. The stress of the situation just gets a little out of hand....which doesnt help when you have a drug problem. on a good note I set off 25g of MHN a couple minutes ago and it was the first HE I made in like 2-3 years and holy shit did I forget the power of that stuff. Set it off with a gram of D-salts and it was severely impressive. It also taught me that pyro and energetic materials is almost like a therapy for me and calms me down. So i think once i figure out my living and working situation I am going to get back into the hobby. I just need to figure out what I want to do in life......its hard to move forward when you dont know which direction to take the first step

either way thanks swede and andyboy for the input/words. Swede do you mind saying what you did after basic like which advanced infantry training you did? One of my friends who enlisted a year or two ago worked with the MLRS (multiple launch rocket system) and thats gotta be pretty cool seeing those rockets firing out of the pod.

Edited April 7, 2009 by FrKoNaLeaSh1010

[Boomer]

"I would rather try and fail then just give up before I hit the bottom." Andy's sig: Trying is the first step towards failure. -Homer (Simpson)

 

OK my (in)famous black humor again. I mean if you tried and failed anyway, you can say "At least I tried". On the other hand you cannot say "I never really tried, if I finally do I will get up again". But that's a lazy excuse anyway.

 

--------------------------------------------

 

"Pyro and energetic materials is almost like a therapy for me and calms me down"

 

How true. When I was really angry or depressed, setting off a healthy charge helped a lot. It's almost like the shockwave going through you shatters the concrete hull of your heart, and blows the black mists from your mind. That's why I get as close as I dare if I need a 'shot', two steps from 100g HE is a good starting point (earplugs!).

 

The incredible power of HEs alone gives me a rush, yes some stupid bodybuilding ex-con can threaten to beat me up because he has fifty horsepower in his fist. But with some chemistry and electronics knowledge, I have fifty MILLION horsepower (per square inch) in my little finger if it rests on the button of a remote control.

Till now, it was my *choice* to not take such revenge because the bastards weren't worth it (though I mixed some nasty things with DMSO and carried a toy water gun).

 

BTW I had a similar thought to your det cord idea: A good sized chunk of RDX/MHN/NG plastic explosive on the top of the head, or against the brain stem, will stop all thoughts in less time it takes a bullet to penetrate the skull. Hell it hasn't even started accelerating in the barrel! (As if that millisecond made a difference, we are crazy.)

 

--------------------------------------------

 

"The stress of the situation just gets a little out of hand....which doesn't help when you have a drug problem"

 

You mean the stress caused massive MHN withdrawal, and you relapsed and synthesized some more?

 

Sorry but I'm allowed such jokes, I know much too well what you mean. I've fed the 'fat hen' most of my income for a long time, and we're speaking the better part of 12 years of an engineer's salary.

You know the fat hen? It's a fused benzene - cyclohexane - cyclohexene ring with an oxygen bridge between rings one + three. If you turn that oxygen down to make it the asshole, it looks like a fat hen to me with half-opened wings spread sideways, like if it's got some chicken under there. There even is a neck/head and a beak if you draw the ethylene-methylamino bridge that sticks out of the cyclohexane without the hydrogens. The wing tips are originally cut though (-OH), personally I like them better in their full length (-OOCMe).

 

Fuck, if there was a chance in hell to make that in a home lab, I'd be a free man (not a rich man mind you).

All you can make are some Ph-iPr amines that I don't like and am too chicken too sell. Don't wanna breeze my air through a zero-mesh screen (one bar every four inches).

 

And the next time the clinic closes five minutes early they better remember I got a key for their fucking front door (C-4), plus a key for their fucking safe (1" conical SC). Just shoot a hole in the bottom and collect the honey that runs out - no need to get at the bottles, they shatter anyway.

 

Freak, pm me if you want.

[Swede]

Freak, I was an Air Force guy, and my active duty days were in the Cold War era. Today, guys rightfully bitch about being deployed to the sandbox too often, and rightly so. Back then, we were dying to deploy, ANYWHERE. We did a lot of travel as a unit... spent time in Europe, Canada, and all over the U.S. Tore up Germany and Spain, we played very hard. There was NOTHING so fun as being a young dude with good friends in places like Las Vegas, Bitburg, or the beaches in Florida.

 

I had permanent duty stations in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida... Panama City Beach, FL, Del Rio, TX, Alamogordo, NM, one or two others.

 

The thing about the military - free medical, dental, housing, decent pay, good benefits. Don't sweat the physical part too much, they'll get you fit. I wouldn't show up grossly out of shape, but you don't need to be Delta Force fit or anything. Think about it. I don't think there is an entry-level job anywhere with such benefits. Can't do drugs, though, they play "Pee in a Cup" with regularity.

 

And you get to destroy stuff, with Govt. approval! Good luck.

[Miech]

I apparently have a way too easy e-mail adress as random people having the same first name as I do are using it to create accounts anywhere on the web. Happened again today. Some completely random person made an account on an online photo album site, and uploaded some picures. I got a mail with his username and password, so I thought, lets give it a try. It turns out this guy uploaded all kinds of pictures of himself posing naked with another guy! That brought me near to puking, I'm happy I got a shortcut for closing tabs on Firefox.

[Swede]

One of the smartest things I ever did was purchase a web domain. They are astoundingly cheap now. You get multiple gigabytes of web space, and importantly, your own email service that YOU control completely. I gave each of my family members their own account, and when one email becomes spam central, I simply delete it and create another. Over the years I've gone through probably a dozen email addresses. It is impossible to prevent harvesting of email addies, and they eventually become useless.

 

The other nice thing is photos. No photobucket with its associated banner ad crap, no size limits... hot link to your pics anywhere, anytime.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Swede

[WarezWally]

I have a few domains (had them for years) one of them I host myself on my linux server that does everything (router, web, mail, FTP, proxy) and the other is with a local company that gives me free hosting as it was offered to members of a certain forum I visit. I still have a gmail address that I give to things I don't really care about or want traced back to me.

[TheSidewinder]

Yup, Domains are definitely cheap these days.

 

It's getting to the point where it's a race between the Domain price and the Hosting price, to see which one gets below the other.

 

I own ~35 Domains, hosted at two different places. None of them are really what you'd call "active", though. More my playthings when I get bored.