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You know you're a Pyro when...


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Posted

2) mist your cat with your sprayer (sans dextrin) before petting, 5) use a flamethrower to manage your lawn.

 

-hindsight

 

Well as to #2, would a 75/25 mix of water/alcohol work as well? Or should the cat be acetone bound? and #5, The neighbors might object, like this guys': http://neighborshame.com/fargo-man-arrested-clearing-snow-flamethrower/

  • 2 months later...
Posted

No, I'm confident the cat must be bound with dextrin (most other binder tend to make a rather crumbly cat).

 

- when you stop your friends from chewing that "red gum thing" that you happen to have 5lb jars of...

- you get reported to police after a paranoid neighbor misinterprets the PPE your're wearing...

Posted
xD ,these pass few joked have got a good laugh out of me
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

No, I'm confident the cat must be bound with dextrin (most other binder tend to make a rather crumbly cat).

Finally I can solve my crumbly cat problem! :D

Posted

Finally I can solve my crumbly cat problem! :D

 

Less fur to sweep up too.

Posted

Finally I can solve my crumbly cat problem! :D

Wolverine if your kitty crumbles just sweep up the debris and use the "kitty litter" to press nozzles. ( Disclaimer: No cats were injured in the production of this post).

  • Like 1
Posted

You know you're a Pyro when....

 

A stranded pedestrian requests a lift, and you offer them either MCRH or granulated BP!

Posted

Or when a person requests a lift, you shoot him out of a tube instead.

Posted

The following is an actual exchange between me and my high school science teacher some years back:

[TEACHER] "I am new to [sCHOOL] but i am not new to teaching,so don't go thinking you can fool me"

[ME] "I if you are new to this school, it is likely you have not been told that the only way you can get the classes attention is by igniting at the front of the class a finely ground mixture of 75% KNO3, 15% charcoal and 10% percent sulfur"

[TEACHER] "You must be [FIREINTHEHOLE], I was warned about you"

[ME] "In the flesh"

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Some months ago, when I was becoming more involved with pyro, online English dictionaries and translators were worthless for deciphering pyro terms.
So, you know you're a Pyro when:

QUICK MATCH... is not a competition between super-heroes.

FLASH.... is not the competitor in the above-mentioned match.

AERIAL SALUTE.... is not a paratrooper's response to encountering his commanding officer mid-air.

GROUND SALUTE.... is not a soldier's sign of respect in a prone position.

ROMAN CANDLE.... is not a Latin light.

RISING STAR.... is not an aspiring actor.

GLITTER STAR.... is not a sparkly actress.

CAKE.... is not to be eaten.

PUNK.... is not a derogatory term nor a musical genre.

LANCE.... is not something thrust into a pustule.

REPORT....is not an informative document.

BAG MINE.... is not a collection of paper sacks in the pantry.

WHISTLE.... is not a gesture likely to result in getting your face slapped.

BLOWN BLIND.... is not a window shade in the breeze.

CRACKLING DRAGON EGG.... is not the roasted embryo of a mythical creature.

LADY FINGER.... is not a phemale phalanx.

ORANGE BOOK.... is not a citrus catalog.

CHERRY BOMB.... is not the name of a burlesque star.

HUMMER.... is not a military vehicle.

FeTi.... is not the pleural of fetus.

Posted
And Cato... Is NOT the antagonist of "The Hunger Games".
  • Like 1
Posted

Nor is Cato the guy that used to sponge off OJ Simpson, or the sidekick of the Green Hornet.

Posted
You fire up your pit to cook... charcoal.
  • Like 1
Posted

You fire up your pit to cook... charcoal.

 

....and you cook some burgers with leftover hot coals. :P

Posted

Continuing the series...
You know you're a Pyro when:

CASE FORMER.... is not a lawyer.

BALL MILL.... is not a baseball factory.

SMOKE MIX.... is not a blend of tobaccoes.

ENDBURNER.... is not a digested habanero.

FENCEPOST PRIME.... is not the first layer of paint.

BOTTOM SHOT.... is not what every patient dreads.

SHELL PASTING.... is not a seaside craft.

PINBALL PRIME.... is not the best stage of life to play arcade games.

STAR PRESS.... is not about Hollywood news.

ANTI-CAKE.... is not a Carboholics Anonymous policy.

FLOWERPOT.... is not a place to grow plants.

BAD BREAK.... is not going to get you much sympathy.

LIFT CHARGE.... is not the fee for using the elevator.

SHORT FUSE.... is not representative of a bad temper.

ROLLED STAR.... is not an actor who was assaulted and robbed.

2" CANNISTER.... is not where you store your film (anymore).

MICROSTAR.... is not a performing protozoan.

SPIDER SHELL.... is not an arachnid exoskeleton.

HYBRID TOOLING.... is not a Swiss Army knife.

CHLORINE DONOR.... is not a trench warrior with a gas dispenser.

PRESSING DELAY.... is not an oxymoron.

GERMAN AL.... is not a nickname for Albrecht.

COREBURNER.... is not Hunan cuisine.

BINARY MIXING.... is not 101001 + 100010 + 11011+...

  • Like 4
Posted (edited)

DELAY TRAIN... is not when the train arrives late

BLACK BODY RADIATION... is not a racial slur

BLACK CAT... is not a black cat

Edited by taiwanluthiers
Posted

A go-getter is NOT a motivated employee.

Black powder is NOT an ethnic variety of talc.

NC lacquer is NOT North Carolina's finest varnish.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Okay BurritoBandito, here's the 3rd in the series:

CHINESE PERC.... is not a benefit of being a citizen of the People's Republic. ( But a Swedish perk is their generous Social Welfare program, eh, MrB?).

RED GUM.... is not a cherry chew.

GROUND DISPLAY.... is not a crop circle.

CLAY NOZZLE.... is not a porcelain spout.

WAXING.... is not the opposite of waning, nor a brutal method of hair removal.

HOT GREENMIX.... is not wasabi.

EXPLOSIVE CHARGE.... is not a violent accusation.

BINDING RESIN.... is not the adhesive residue in a hashish pipe.

SPIKING.... is not the surreptitious addition of an intoxicant to a beverage.

SCRATCH MIX.... is not itching powder.

DARK FIRE.... is not a hellish condition

DRIVER.... is not a chauffeur

RACK.... is not a medieval torture device

WATERFALL.... is not a canoeist's nightmare

SMOKE POT.... is not a route of cannabis consumption

LOW BREAK.... is not an ankle fracture

POT PERC.... is not an old method for brewing coffee

Edited by hindsight
  • Like 1
Posted
This is probably the best topic on apc lol! I laughed so hard!
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

........ you have a BP scented car air freshener

Posted

The "candle" on your birthday cake is formally called Visco!

Posted

Premature ignition is not something that happens in the bedroom!

Posted
...premature ignition IS something that happens in the bedroom.
Posted

Lmao! ;)

Posted

Your "birthday cake" is gone in 60 seconds.

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